just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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