whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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