So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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