someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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