I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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