Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the condom got lost in my hair
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
