that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
