The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
