That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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