So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
