How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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