WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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