Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
