Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
