Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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