i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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