wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
