So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
