i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
