Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
