I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
