I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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