the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Mom said you looked used
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
