Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
