I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can I color on your dick again?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
