My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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