I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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