Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
