Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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