He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize