Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
