Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I need moral support for this bender
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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