Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
