why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
