Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
