Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
