dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Too much gin, very little bucket
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
