i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
