i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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