ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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