I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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