YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
