She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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