How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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