Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
