So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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