This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
