there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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