White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
