This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
