Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
