I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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