She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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