Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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