i permit you to call me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
