can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The power of my boobs compel you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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