Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
