He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize