Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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