Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
