Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize