Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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